The Discipline of Disappointments and Failures
Some of the most valuable leadership lessons to be obtained are those that emerge from disappointments and apparent failures. I know that failure is not the most popular topic for discussion, especially for those of us who are focused on making a success of life. But we need to talk about our failures and disappointments more than we do because many of us are missing the fertile ground for growth in leadership that our disappointments and failures provide.
Photo credit: Ray S.
I think about how I first learned to ride a bike. It was not an easy process. When my father removed the training wheels from my two-wheeler and pushed my bike down the sidewalk, I frequently fell off my bike as I furiously and frantically peddled in vain to keep rolling. But each time I fell off, I got back on my bike again. I didn't tell my father to put the training wheels back on. I was prepared to get back on the bike and keep trying and failing and trying again until I could finally master riding my bike. It was painful; it didn't feel good; I cried as I lay crumpled up on the ground with my bike on top of me. But when I finally could ride without falling, the joy of reaching that milestone far surpassed any pain and tears I shed during the learning process! So it is with growth in leadership. We are going to make mistakes along the way, and it's going to be embarrassing, it's going to be painful; some days we're going to shed some tears of disappointment from our failures. But we cannot give up nor give in to discouragement. We are to study where we made a left when we should have turned right, and learn the lessons that are there for us to learn, and get back on and try again and again until we succeed! Just about every leader that we admire for their successes, experienced failures and setbacks on the way to their great success. It is the lessons that they learned in darkness, leadership skills that they picked up in times of adversity and hardship, that prepared them for achieving and managing their later successes. Those failures may have appeared at the time to feel like curses; but those curses prayerfully placed in God's hands became blessings in disguise!
The following quote from Seventh-day Adventist Church prophetess and pioneer Ellen G. White captures the essence of the sentiments expressed above. It is copied and pasted below for the readers' (and my) benefit.
(Mt 20:26-28; Lk 9:46-48; 22:24-27; Jn 12:24) Christ has given to every man his work, and we are to acknowledge the wisdom of the plan He has made for us by a hearty cooperation with Him. It is in a life of service only that true happiness is found. He who lives a useless, selfish life is miserable. He is dissatisfied with himself and with everyone else. True, unselfish, consecrated workers gladly use their highest gifts in the lowliest service. They realize that true service means to see and to perform the duties that God points out. There are many who are not satisfied with the work that God has given them. They are not satisfied to serve Him pleasantly in the place that He has marked out for them, or to do uncomplainingly the work that He has placed in their hands. It is right for us to be dissatisfied with the way in which we perform duty, but we are not to be dissatisfied with the duty itself, because we would rather do something else. In His providence God places before human beings service that will be as medicine to their diseased minds. Thus He seeks to lead them to put aside the selfish preferences which, if cherished, would disqualify them for the work He has for them. If they accept and perform this service, their minds will be cured. But if they refuse it, they will be left at strife with themselves and with others. The Lord disciplines His workers, so that they will be prepared to fill the places appointed them. He desires to mold their minds in accordance with His will. For this purpose He brings to them test and trial. Some He places where relaxed discipline and over-indulgence will not become their snare, where they are taught to appreciate the value of time, and to make the best and wisest use of it. There are some who desire to be a ruling power, and who need the sanctification of submission. God brings about a change in their lives, and perhaps places before them duties that they would not choose. If they are willing to be guided by Him, He will give them grace and strength to perform the objectionable duties in a spirit of submission and helpfulness. They are being qualified to fill places where their disciplined abilities will make them of the greatest service. Some God trains by bringing to them disappointment and apparent failure. It is His purpose that they shall learn to master difficulty. He inspires them with a determination to make every apparent failure prove a success. Often men pray and weep because of the perplexities and obstacles that confront them. But if they will hold the beginning of their confidence steadfast unto the end, He will make their way clear. Success will come to them as they struggle against apparently insurmountable difficulties; and with success will come the greatest joy. Many are ignorant of how to work for God, not because they need to be ignorant, but because they are not willing to submit to His training process. -8MR 422, 423 • TMK 44-The Pattern Man; UL 62-A Living Connection With the Living God
Photo credit: Ray S.
I think about how I first learned to ride a bike. It was not an easy process. When my father removed the training wheels from my two-wheeler and pushed my bike down the sidewalk, I frequently fell off my bike as I furiously and frantically peddled in vain to keep rolling. But each time I fell off, I got back on my bike again. I didn't tell my father to put the training wheels back on. I was prepared to get back on the bike and keep trying and failing and trying again until I could finally master riding my bike. It was painful; it didn't feel good; I cried as I lay crumpled up on the ground with my bike on top of me. But when I finally could ride without falling, the joy of reaching that milestone far surpassed any pain and tears I shed during the learning process! So it is with growth in leadership. We are going to make mistakes along the way, and it's going to be embarrassing, it's going to be painful; some days we're going to shed some tears of disappointment from our failures. But we cannot give up nor give in to discouragement. We are to study where we made a left when we should have turned right, and learn the lessons that are there for us to learn, and get back on and try again and again until we succeed! Just about every leader that we admire for their successes, experienced failures and setbacks on the way to their great success. It is the lessons that they learned in darkness, leadership skills that they picked up in times of adversity and hardship, that prepared them for achieving and managing their later successes. Those failures may have appeared at the time to feel like curses; but those curses prayerfully placed in God's hands became blessings in disguise!
The following quote from Seventh-day Adventist Church prophetess and pioneer Ellen G. White captures the essence of the sentiments expressed above. It is copied and pasted below for the readers' (and my) benefit.
(Mt 20:26-28; Lk 9:46-48; 22:24-27; Jn 12:24) Christ has given to every man his work, and we are to acknowledge the wisdom of the plan He has made for us by a hearty cooperation with Him. It is in a life of service only that true happiness is found. He who lives a useless, selfish life is miserable. He is dissatisfied with himself and with everyone else. True, unselfish, consecrated workers gladly use their highest gifts in the lowliest service. They realize that true service means to see and to perform the duties that God points out. There are many who are not satisfied with the work that God has given them. They are not satisfied to serve Him pleasantly in the place that He has marked out for them, or to do uncomplainingly the work that He has placed in their hands. It is right for us to be dissatisfied with the way in which we perform duty, but we are not to be dissatisfied with the duty itself, because we would rather do something else. In His providence God places before human beings service that will be as medicine to their diseased minds. Thus He seeks to lead them to put aside the selfish preferences which, if cherished, would disqualify them for the work He has for them. If they accept and perform this service, their minds will be cured. But if they refuse it, they will be left at strife with themselves and with others. The Lord disciplines His workers, so that they will be prepared to fill the places appointed them. He desires to mold their minds in accordance with His will. For this purpose He brings to them test and trial. Some He places where relaxed discipline and over-indulgence will not become their snare, where they are taught to appreciate the value of time, and to make the best and wisest use of it. There are some who desire to be a ruling power, and who need the sanctification of submission. God brings about a change in their lives, and perhaps places before them duties that they would not choose. If they are willing to be guided by Him, He will give them grace and strength to perform the objectionable duties in a spirit of submission and helpfulness. They are being qualified to fill places where their disciplined abilities will make them of the greatest service. Some God trains by bringing to them disappointment and apparent failure. It is His purpose that they shall learn to master difficulty. He inspires them with a determination to make every apparent failure prove a success. Often men pray and weep because of the perplexities and obstacles that confront them. But if they will hold the beginning of their confidence steadfast unto the end, He will make their way clear. Success will come to them as they struggle against apparently insurmountable difficulties; and with success will come the greatest joy. Many are ignorant of how to work for God, not because they need to be ignorant, but because they are not willing to submit to His training process. -8MR 422, 423 • TMK 44-The Pattern Man; UL 62-A Living Connection With the Living God
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